The Worst Button in the World.

Okay, so it’s about 3 am last night. I am bored. All my jerk friends have alibis and won’t talk to me on MSN (stop it, I’m trying to sleep) and my collection of DVDs is out of arms reach, so I can’t find solace in the adventures of Chuck Norris or Bill Murray. Guh. I then think to myself “Hey, my blog is super great. Maybe there are other great blogs that I can find enjoyment from.” This, as it turns out, was a very poorly thought-out thought.

You see, for some reason I have this button on my blog that says “Next Blog”. Now now, you may not be able to see it, but trust me, it’s there. That is what I clicked. This is what I found:

Techknowledgy

Okay, here’s is an example of someone who needs to be hit by one of them runaway boulders like in Indiana Jones. Firstly, techknowledgy?!?! What kind of message are you sending when you force your readers to spend 30 seconds analyzing your name just to realize you suck at word play? After cursing this blog with the powers granted to me by the almighty Baal, I realized this blog-owner’s deficiency: he’s a foreigner. From what I can understand, Microsoft is sueing Windows, and windows has the genuine advantage. Bah, useless, if you’re going to come onto our internet, learn to speak our language.

My rating? Negative 8 pies.

PROMPT

From what I can tell by glancing at the front page, this blog is devoted to something that has downtime. Also, it has a “focus motor”, which means that the machine (whatever it is) has eyes. Now, this may be a shot in the dark, but I believe that PROMPT is a large robot capable of large amounts of carnage and death. What does PROMPT stand for? Easy, it stands for Personal Robot for Obliterating Many People’s Things.

My rating? Plus 6 pies

Se Dagen Vakna

Okay, another foreigner. No problem though, I used to be able to read Danish, so all is not lost. It says something about… ponies… hungry…. spandex…. uhh.. something about a large man who roams the countryside eating livestock. Thats it. Okay, so maybe it isn’t. But look at this, if this doesn’t say it all, I don’t know what does.

My rating? Negative 13 pies

I decided to stop after that, the prospect of Strumthos, the Danish spandex man whom devours cows and horses in single bites was simply too terrifying to bear. Worst button in the world.