I sat down at my computer tonight and, as I always do, inflated my ego by checking the neat traffic monitor that wordpress gives you. It is growing steadily, I will have you know, which is good. That is not the focus of this writing though. The real focus is this:
Ok, this is the thing that tells me what people are googling my site for. In more coherent words: when people type these things into google, my site pops up. Now, the astute observer will notice strange things (since when do I ever say “cummupins”? What’s a scary Skwid?). He will also notice that people are once again flocking to my blog to read about Tanya Harding just like before. Hooray I guess. But this is what infuriates me the most:
I DO NOT EAT A LOT.
Seriously, anyone that knows me knows that I subsists on a small, high calorie diet. It consists of the following, each and every day:
1 Sandwich
4-10 marshmellows
Random cheese
5-10 freezies
A sub from Subway
A bag of free penny candy from the local convenience store (which after tonight I may not be allowed back to)
Lots of water
THAT IS NOT A LOT. That is less than most people with their fancy schmancy “three meals a day” and their “I eat over the whole day” and their “my fridge has food in it sometimes”. Screw them, and screw you, stop calling me fat.
Good news though, googling my name brings up this blog as hit number 10 on Google. Try it yourself.
Posted by Ben Nicholls 
